Q: How do you know when a lawyer is lying? A: Their lips move.
Q: What’s the difference between high school and prison? A: Prisoners get more sleep.
The dynamic young Saudi Crown Prince, known as MBS, is the driving force behind many innovations in his tradition-bound kingdom. He is now calling for a new Saudi flag featuring a white bone-saw on a field of green, and the legend “Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You”.
Hard-nosed businessmen and street smart types often question the value of history. “What’s it good for, they ask?” To answer them in their own lingo: it’s the Spotter’s Guide to rogues, scoundrels and con-men; it’s the Bookie’s line on the odds of good government; it’s the actuarial tables for the mortality of democracies.
Freshly divorced wife, to her departing ex-husband: “I hope your life goes to shit. I hope every day of the rest of your life is worse than the day before. I hope your life from here on out is nothing but misery!” Husband, looking back: “So, do you want me to go or to stay?”
[From the now-defunct Soviet Union] We pretend to work, and they pretend to pay us.
My wife and I have the perfect relationship: half the time she’s my better half, and half the time I’m hers.
Whenever someone speaks truth to power someone else speaks power to truth; the latter is decisive. It only happens otherwise in cinema, literature and religion.
Abraham Lincoln famously said that you can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can’t fool all the people all the time. My rather darker variant on this is that half the people half the time are half-full of shit; as far as Truth is concerned, men are more sinning than sinned against. Nietzsche makes an even harsher judgment “Truth has no survival value”, with the unstated implication that men’s drives generally aim lower than their pretensions.